Crash landing at Melbourne Airport*
So on Monday I got kicked out of paradise. Ok, so actually what happened was that I caught my scheduled flight home from Denpasar to Melbourne. There wasn’t even a single delay. It all went very smoothly (except for the drunk Australian man who kept taking selfies with customs officials, immigration officers and flight attendants. But that’s another story).
If you don’t already know, I was on yoga retreat in Ubud with 12 amazing women at the stunningly beautiful Villa Gaia. Goddesses all around! In the first two days alone I had so much heart opening, Kundalini rising, amazing rushes of energy that I am sure my fellow yoginis thought I was high. And I was high, but high on the remarkable energy that so often happens in group settings when the intentions are so powerful and pure.
The remainder of the time I knew well enough to integrate, and centre down, this amazing energy that was pouring through me. I took things slow, rarely left the villa and spent much time doing yoga of course, reading and meditating. In my mind as the days of the retreat drew to a close I imagined my very Zen self back at home with my family being all, well, Zen.
Did that happen? Not one bit. Since arriving home 5 days ago I have been exhausted in a way I can’t even begin to explain. I have been fighting with my beloved and pretty much running on empty. Suffice to say life did not slow down here and so, yes, I have been straight back into work and mothering and cleaning and cooking. It has been actually very disappointing. Today I have finally taken the matter in hand and rested and had blood tests at the doctors and taken things a little easy. There is a good chance the exhaustion is just some kind of flu. But the dis-ease that comes with not being able to bring that exulted, paradise energy home? That is something I can deal with. In a word – integration. These spiritual highs are mighty and rare, but sustaining peace in the very day is what really counts.
As Hsin Hsin Ming so wisely said:
Before enlightenment, chopping wood and carrying water. After enlightenment, chopping wood and carrying water.