Opening and receiving – two of the hardest things to do on the planet
Ok, I just got totally ambushed. In the best possible way. I invited a friend to come and experience a Lightwork Session after we had found we have a mutual passion for supporting Soul consciousness expansion in ourselves and others. As I set up the space to welcome her I was pretty certain of how the session would run and what I would be doing afterwards (laundry, food shopping, picking up kids etc). Our session was beautiful and peaceful and nurturing. As we sat to share after the healing, we both acknowledged that we could feel an energy exchange happening. Jude picked up on it first and I nodded in polite agreement but as the minutes passed, I felt a profound resonance and connection happening.
I started to wrap up the session (so I could go home and do the washing) and I saw Jude’s energy shift as she began to lead the energy and intention of the space, now thick with sacred vibrancy. The room was charged! Jude said she would give me an exercise just to prepare me for the following week in which I would receive a treatment from her. I patiently followed as she led me through a breath exercise. To be honest, I knew very little about the way Jude worked. I know she is a tantra educator but I don’t really know what that means. I also knew that I was tired and kind of felt like going home and sitting on the couch. But I followed Jude’s expert instruction as the in breaths and out breaths became deeper. My brain was racing. Go home. You’re busy. This is fine but surely we should just wait until next week. That sort of thing.
I won’t go into all the details but suffice to say there was shaking and physical movement and more breathing. As the physical activity intensified I stopped thinking about time. I stopped wanting to be anywhere else. Suddenly, I was asked to lie on the floor and Jude was at my head directing energy through my body. I was suddenly wide open. I mean, I was suddenly open to accepting this beautiful, profound offer from Jude and the Universe. I opened up and the energy moved through me. My body responded and I truly feel that transformation took place.
As I write this I feel like I am on summer holidays (the kind without kids). I feel that joy bubbling away inside of me that is still and warm. I’m super keen to write more about the session itself when I have processed it a little. What really hit me today though was how hard it is for me to RECEIVE, and to be OPEN to the conditions to receive. And I really needed this time with Jude. I just hadn’t realised it and even as it was happening I was trying to resist it! I needed it for two reasons.
On the weekend, during the amazing Lightwork Training I had spent three intense days holding space for other people’s transformation. My body and soul were aching for some nurturing and Jude obliged in a very spontaneous and totally guided way. The second reason was that this weekend had led to some pretty awesome, scary, wonderful realisation for me (the teacher learns by teaching of course) and I was super keen to LET IT GO. I gave powerful intention to the Universe that I was ready to be free of this limiting pattern. And then like magic not 5 days later, this magnificent tantra Goddess appears in my healing room.
What else could I do but OPEN and RECEIVE? And with that blissful aura surrounding me, I’m off to do the laundry.