The subconscious mind rules everything about us
I make a joke in my Intuitive Intelligence workshops. I joke that we are all crack addicts. It’s not very funny, really, but my point is this. Just because our addiction is easier to conceal than a junkies, it doesn’t make it any less scary. The truth is we are in fact all fear addicts.
Breaking my addiction has been the greatest and most incredible adventure of my life. And it goes on. It is a daily, lifelong commitment. The benefits are quite incredible.
For me, it has not happened all at once. It is a two step program. I am incredibly dedicated to it. If I take my eye of it, my addiction creeps back in. Fear is sneaky and kind of brilliant. We need to be on our toes! Meeting our fear is the opposite of living fearfully. It is living boldly and courageously as we actively move in the direction of our dreams.
Here’s how I break my habit.
The First step.
Changing the story. Our experiences are only suffering if that is the story we choose to tell ourselves. Our lives do not stop being difficult, at least not at the first step, just because we are overcoming our addiction. Yet, when we are no longer living from the paradigm of fear our self-pity stories evaporate. We aren’t judging. We’re observing. And this radical acceptance is the beginning of all the good. A quick way to do this is to ask yourself a question about every stressful thought you have…
Is this love? Or is this fear?
But there is another level to it.
The Second step.
This is where it gets really, really good. We can move to the place where we do not need to learn through suffering, perceived or otherwise. The second step is to actually manifest a reality that is in total accordance with joy.
We evolve our consciousness through a joyful state. There is no suffering required to awaken. That possibility is available to us now if we choose to access it. It comes down to our willingness to surrender the addiction. That’s where it began for me.
In the first step I learned to remove judgment. What if there is no problem? What if this is life evolving? Judgment is an act of fear, a way to separate ourselves from what we do not believe we are worthy of, or deem unworthy of us.
I needed to investigate the reasons why I believed suffering was worthy and valuable. I had a story that I would not be taken seriously as a spiritual leader if I hadn’t earned my suffering stripes. I noticed that lots of people felt that way about suffering. Suffering justifies our existence.
But I didn’t want to just make friends with my suffering.
The next step for me was knowing that beyond my radical acceptance, I could actually live in joy. To understand this better I needed to understand the layers of my consciousness. What I found out blew me away.
The reasoning conscious mind, that part of us that we identify with our personality and our preferences, runs our lives 5-10% of the time. What is actually in charge is our subconscious mind, around 95% of the time. Becoming more spiritually aware is becoming more awake to the subconscious mind.
The subconscious mind has a photographic memory of all our hurts and our suffering. Whenever we encounter an experience – someone cutting us off in traffic, a grumpy colleague – we go in to a story around that. We don’t see a person of innocent action, perhaps having a bad day. We have a story of how that person’s actions are about us. I’m not young enough, not pretty enough, that person doesn’t like me like my dad never liked me. The stories of self doubt kick in, which have nothing to do with the bad day that the grumpy colleague is having. We make it about ourselves. We go into the back catalogue of hurt in our subconscious and we live from there.
The subconscious mind does not judge. It has no opinion about whether the experiences it is storing are good or bad. It just holds them. It holds what we give most attention or energy to. If I wanted to change my perception of the world I needed to change the contents of my subconscious mind.
And so that is what I did. And I created a systematic, replicable program so I could commit to it daily, and share it around.