The night I met my fear.
It has recently come to my attention that is possible to live a fearless life.
It was late one night and I was feeling fear.
At that moment in time it was fear of failure, although it hardly matters what the fear was as all fear causes restriction and dis-ease in the body and soul and needs to be cleared out. I was in the early stages of establishing Lightworker Institute and fear of failure was coming up a lot for me. Previously in my life I would have tried to ignore or rationalise this fear and pushed it down out of my immediate consciousness. That wouldn’t work of course. It is never possible to ignore our feeling state. Never. Instead, for me, this fear would burst out of me at some inappropriate moment as anger. That was my pattern when I tried to ignore what I was feeling.
For the first time in my life I was awake to this pattern in me and committed with my whole heart to bring light to the darkness and to clear out the fear, consciously and presently! As I tuned in to the fear coursing through me I could feel how it sat in the back of my body, and was being fed stressful impulses from events and feelings I had experienced in the past. The fear had nothing to do with that moment. In that moment, I was safely tucked up in my bed in my beautiful home, planning a sold-out training program for a group of amazing people. Everything I needed to feel successful and peaceful was in place and yet I was still gripped by fear.
But the consciousness in me this was night was louder than my fear and I was drawn into meditation. I scanned my intuition for the best technique to clear out the fear and I recalled a very physical form of meditation designed to clear out childhood belief systems that no longer serve us. In this meditation, the arms are held out from the body for 11 minutes as the breath is sucked in through the teeth and out through the nose. It is like trying to pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time, and for good reason. The mind cannot take control in this form of meditation. It is also a powerful emotional detoxer and I had had some incredible results with it previously. I followed this intense practice, with a few rounds of EFT, my go-to for removing fear from my body. Within 20 minutes of the first wave of fear making itself known to me, I was instead feeling very clear and light, fully present in the now moment and very attuned to my intuition. These qualities – light, clear, present, intuitive – are the best way to describe what it is to be fearless. Within a few minutes of feeling fear I was free of that fear.
It was in that moment that I realised I could live my whole life in this way.
Fearlessness feels like freedom. It is the state in which we are in total non-judgment, radical acceptance and effortless power. It is the state in which we know we are masters of our waking life and it is also the state of total surrender. It is the recognition that not a single experience in our lives, even our own death, can alter our divine perfection.
Fearlessness is waking up.